Emotional Freedom: Transformative Steps to Change Your Story
Many personal development experts state that our ‘reality’ today is essentially the result of our interpretation of the world around us, our past thoughts and our behaviours. Do you believe that?
This also insinuates that we can become what we think.
If you have read some of my previous articles or “Enerise - 30 Days to Vitality”, you know by now that our thoughts (including our inner talks, negative or positive) drive emotions and that our emotions are intrinsically linked to our behaviour.
This is powerful stuff.
You can control your behaviour with mere thoughts. This is why mindfulness has grown as a movement in recent years. Because mindfulness focuses on living in the present moment and analysing the way we feel and experience the world around us.
But we also know that our thoughts, emotions and behaviours are influenced (on the subconscious and conscious levels) by past experiences, childhood adverse events (trauma) and what we were taught or learned from our peers. This is why mental health problems are transgenerational, because we typically mirror what we see. This also explain why a family history of depression or anxiety disorders increases your risk of those conditions at any time in your life, because you may not have been taught healthy responses to your environment or useful coping mechanisms (or none at all).
To change your story, you need to change the narrative: the stories you tell yourself and you need to change your responses to certain events. You are not your failures. You are a human who learns from his experiences. So learn the lesson and thrive to become a better version of yourself. Do not use a failure or a bad experience as an anchor to drive negative inner talks or being over critical of yourself.
You are good enough and you deserve to be happy, no matter what you tell yourself.
Today, I want to share with you some transformative steps to help you change your story and free your mind from negative thoughts, beliefs, or patterns.
Before I do, you may want to consider these few tips to help you change the narrative and your interpretation of the ‘reality’ you live in:
Do not be afraid to experiment. Commit to demolishing your museum of old beliefs to rebuild a newer, more positive mindset.
Keep track: Monitor if changing your mindset actually changes your interpretation of your (outside) world. You may want to journal daily to track your journey.
Be patient: Take the next weeks or months to make a solid commitment to changing the narrative (the inner landscape) and to let it impact your outer landscape (your reality). Remember that your brain isn’t going to let you go away with change. Your brain is a force of habit, using past experiences to keep you safe (and alive), like you know fire burns because you once went too close to a fire and you know how much it can hurt. Hurt is the biggest barrage to self-improvement because you are reliving the past and not living in the present. Imagine all that you are missing because of the hurt.
6 Transformative steps to change your story so you can begin to free your mind from negative thoughts, beliefs, or patterns.
Remove the clutter:
Your thoughts have a great deal to do with your attitude and behaviour, as your thoughts affect your emotions and your emotions affect your behaviour. Take some time to just sit in silence and observe the kinds of thoughts running through your mind. Are those thoughts mostly negative, perhaps, even critical? Discard all thoughts that are not serving you. This is not to say that by the switch of a button, your thoughts will vanish, but that you have acknowledged them and decided that those thoughts are not what you need to think about right at this time. In the same way, do your best to eliminate negative influences in your life, including thoughts, the stories you tell yourself, and even the people who are not letting you be your authentic self and encouraging you to grow and be your best self.
Are you unable to quiet your mind, here is why:
Change Your Story:
If you’re not happy with the story you’re telling people, then it’s time to tell a new one. If you feel stuck, it’s only because you’re telling the same old story over and over. Break the pattern to be free. Again, you are not your failures. You are the combination of your life experiences, so always focus on the good in every situation, and you can create a new story. Take full responsibility for your life from this day forward and change the narrative. There is nothing stopping you but you. Even if it feels awkward or even hard to think and speak in a more positive way, do it anyway. You will thank yourself later for the person you have become.
“The biggest influence on human behaviour is the story we tell ourselves in our heads. If you change your story you change your world”
Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway:
Yes, change is scary. It is the biggest stressor of them all, the source of much anxiety and fear, and lives half-lived. Dare to embrace your dreams and your fears, and live the dream. That’s called courage. Take your life with open arms and both hands and let courage empower you (and your decisions, your thoughts and the actions you will take from now on) and declare that you’re going to make changes for the better in your life. Draw a line in the sand and do not allow negative thoughts or negative people to cross it. Then, you’re ready for change.
Demolish Your Museum of Old Beliefs:
When you think of your life (or the person you turned out to be), do you believe that this is as good as it will ever get?
Successful, peaceful, and happy people don’t settle for what is easy or what is comfortable; they keep challenging themselves and are always keen to learn something new.
Challenge your beliefs. Be honest with yourself. What are you afraid of? Why do you let negative thoughts clutter your mind, and cut your wings, so you’re being defeated before you even started something new? Why are you over-critical of yourself in such a bad way? What have you stored in your museum of old beliefs?
If you recognise yourself by reading the questions above, today is the day to break free from all negativity and doubt and declare a new life!
You can do it.
Embrace the change and challenge yourself. Use that fire in your veins to give you the will and direction you need to move forward and stop living in fear and living in the past.
Have a Plan:
Before thanking your first step, take some time to think about where you are today and where you want to go.
By having a plan in mind you can decide on the journey and motivate yourself along the way. The destination must be clear in your mind. Imagine you have reached your destination (achieved your goal), how would it feel? How would you know you have reached the final stop? What will you see (your surroundings, facing the mirror, etc.), smell or hear? What would it taste like?
Write down a list of things that you would like to achieve, no matter how small they may seem. Break them down into achievable goals and start working towards them. Creating a plan helps to keep you on track. Use the power of visualisation to keep you motivated and closer to your goals.
It could be anything like:
What do I want from my life from now on
I want more money
I want to change to a career I actually like
I want more freedom
I want a new partner (or want to be on my own for a while)
I want friends, perhaps new friends, the kind of friends that are supportive and fun to be around
I want to learn something new or open my own business
I want to stop being so afraid
No matter what your goals are, you must find all the resources you need to achieve your goals. There is no point in wanting to change if you do not provide yourself with the tools you need to start and eventually succeed.
For example, if you want a new career, begin researching jobs that you think may interest you. What are your strengths? Write everything down and narrow down your options until it feels like exactly what you want to do.
If you want more money, then do you need to ask for a promotion or a career change where you are more appreciated and rewarded? Create a budget, and follow it. Weight the pros and cons of all the options you think of and chose the right option for you at this present moment in time. Remember, these must be attainable. There is no point wishing the moon, I think you would agree.
If you are looking to develop new relationships or find a new partner, will you socialise more, go out more often to meet people, or look forward to dating again? If you feel fearful, then you may have to work on all those thoughts that are creating barrages to your own happiness.
It’s time to take action. Work towards your goals.
Goals are great, but without action you won’t get very far.
Let go and live in the now:
If life has taught you anything is that one thing is certain: change is inevitable.
Our lives can change in the blink of an eye (think COVID, unlawful lockdowns and forced vaccinations, and further crazy events occurring all over the world in the last few years — how those words are now triggers for many people).
You have changed.
You’ve probably grown since you were a kid. You probably learned from your past experiences to become the person you are today.
Your reactions to certain events and even your environment have/are changing.
No longer be afraid, embrace change. Welcome change and make it your life journey to overcome the inconveniences of change. When you think about it, are those inconveniences a bad thing, or the next best thing that could ever happen to you?
Let go of the past. Release your anchors and sail away to your new best life.
Enjoy the Journey:
Focus on the destination and the journey will be that much smoother and enjoyable. It may even bring happiness knowing you are that much closer to your dreams/goals.
You may even experience more peace and joy along your journey, discover new qualities about yourself, and make great friends along the way.
As often as you feel you need it, stop for a moment and analyse where you are. Are you still going in the right direction or have you landed somewhere else completely?
Return your focus to the destination (remember the power of visualisation and how it felt when you saw yourself reaching your goals) and stir back the ‘ship’ if you need to.
By taking the time to monitor your thoughts, your feelings and your reality, you can always trust yourself to be on the right path.
The path to emotional freedom.
And, it’s what you deserve.